Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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