What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
