Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if only i could text you this smell
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
