i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
