So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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