My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
