before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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