dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
