oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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