All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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