I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
