And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
