you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
