just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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