this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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