Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
