ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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