she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There r osticjed everywhere
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
