sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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