is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
