We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
