This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
