The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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