I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
