just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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