I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
