just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
