Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
