You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
