I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
