hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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