I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
