I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
