I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
