everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
