Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
