How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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