So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
