i barfeds in our rink
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
