Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
