So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
