No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
