Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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