Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
