I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
