I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
