They should really pass out barf bags in church
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
