hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
