At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
