highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
