im six kinds of drunk right now
He is an equal opportunity slut.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
