i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
