I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
