you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
