Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
